I lost my mom when I was 25. She was my best friend. I was her anchor. With a challenging health condition, she depended on me much of my life. Our bond was very strong, and her death seemed impossible at the time. If I’m honest, sometimes it still does.
After she died, I looked for any way I could to hold on to her. I was willing to try anything that would bring my mom closer to me in this bleak new normal without her. I spent time at places we used to go together: Carmel, the beach, San Francisco, Stanford Shopping Center, and our most favorite, Venice, Italy. My heart yearned to hear her voice just one more time. I became curious about the spiritual and metaphysical realm.
I saw psychics, some good, some bad, but all led me to feel closer to my mom somehow. My first psychic experience was with a woman named Marge in San Jose, California. I found her on the Internet and decided to take a chance and see what she had to say. She worked out of her home and she had a warm way about her. When we started she said there was a spirit sitting next to me. When she described the spirit to me, it sounded exactly like my mom’s friend Martha. I felt disappointed that Martha was there and not my mom. I so badly wanted to feel like she was there and to get some kind of message from her.
Some years later, I lost my sister, too, and as time progressed, my curiosity into the spiritual realm became more of a wanting or yearning to know more. It was no longer just an avenue to be closer to my mom and my sister, I was genuinely interested in knowing more and it came from a deep place inside of me. It was a feeling of coming home, a place where, protected from the repercussions of life’s rough blows, I felt safe. After losing the two most important people in my life I turned to my spiritual guidance to provide a sort of comfort and support to myself as my support system was now gone.
I yearned to find others like me, to discuss the possibilities of what was out there. I began reading more on the topic, meeting like minded people with whom I could discuss topics that to others would seem “far out” or almost crazy. I was very choosy with whom I discussed these special topics and as a result created some very deep, meaningful relationships.
In February of 2014, I went with a friend to San Francisco where I met Karen Hager. She is now the psychic I use regularly when I need guidance and with whom I feel completely safe. I trust her knowledge completely. On more than one occasion Karen has connected with me and brought things to light for me that have touched me in a profound way. At our first meeting she told me I would write a book and it would take me nine months. She had no idea that I had started my book and gave myself until the end of the year (what would be nine months from that date) to have the first draft done.
Another time was when Karen described a place where women were gathered with beautiful hair. The way that she described it was as if it were a bunch of women in the Victorian era where they had full heads of hair adorned with flowers and birds. Karen asked me if that made any sense to me because the person connected to this was assisting me with writing my memoir. I was taken aback because the description led me to think of my sister who had owned a hair salon before dying of brain cancer at forty-nine years of age. She then told me that my sister was guiding my hand while I poured my heart out in my memoir. She was also adding support to allow me to tell the whole story, the truth, and not hold anything back. Karen told me that my sister had discovered the importance of speaking the truth through death and that she had held much back while she was alive. This was my sister’s reason for supporting me with my truths. Reflecting back on the moment that I was told that my sister was guiding my hand has provided comfort to me knowing that she is supporting me with all the information I have written thus far.
I have to believe that my connection with my mom and my sister is very much still viable although they live in the spiritual realm. There’s a comfort knowing they are here with me in whatever capacity it is. My journey to connect with the spiritual realm is ongoing. It provides an avenue of curiosity and love for me, and fills my soul with a sense of belonging. Embracing the spiritual realm has been one of the most freeing and educational experiences I’ve had. I experienced a positive change in my life when I began to accept curiosity about life on the other side.